Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again. – Joseph Campbell
This morning, I woke up and felt a sense of nostalgia, I remembered my dad and our common love for literature and words, and what came to mind was this beautiful French poem– « Demain dès l’aube », that Victor Hugo wrote for his daughter who died by drowning in the Seine in September 1843.
There’s something about this poem that stirs my soul every time I read it. The depth of his devotion—his willingness to endure pain and solitude on his journey to the cemetery to honour the memory of his daughter—is profoundly moving. It’s a love so pure and unwavering that it inspired me to reflect on devotion, devotion to oneself, the promises we make, not to others, but to ourselves.
And reflecting on devotion, I must admit was painful, when we talk about devotion, we never think about self- devotion, it is always about our devotion to others. It made me realize how often I’ve broken promises I made to myself. It hit me hard when I thought about a specific situation that happened last year: I had vowed not to lend money to a colleague again, knowing full well the challenges I’d faced with him in the past to get my money back. Yet, his crocodile tears worked their magic, and I caved in. Now, here we are in January 2025, and despite my polite reminders, the debt remains unpaid. The frustration isn’t just about the money—it’s about me betraying the boundary I had set for myself.
Why do we do this? Why do we break promises to ourselves so easily?
Why We Break Promises to Ourselves?
If we’re honest, it often comes down to guilt, fear, people pleasing, empathy or a desire to avoid conflict. When someone tugs at our heartstrings, it feels easier to give in than to hold firm. But every time we do, we chip away at the trust we’ve built with ourselves. And without self-trust, it becomes harder to stand tall in our values and make choices that align with the lives we want to create.
I realized that by giving in to that colleague’s tears, I wasn’t just lending money; I was telling myself that my boundaries didn’t matter. That my goals and dreams—the ones tied to my financial freedom and peace of mind—weren’t as important as someone else’s temporary discomfort. The sense of anger and betrayal I felt wasn’t just directed outward; it was aimed at me.
Devotion Starts Within
What Hugo’s poem taught me is that devotion—true, unwavering devotion—requires commitment and consistency. Just as he took each step of his journey with his daughter’s memory in his heart, we need to take deliberate steps toward honouring ourselves. Devotion to ourselves, isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. How can we pour into others if our own cup is empty?
For me, that means standing firm in my boundaries and reminding myself that every promise I keep to myself strengthens my sense of self-worth. It’s about showing up for myself with the same level of dedication I’d show for someone I love deeply.
The Journey Back to Self-Trust
Rebuilding self-trust after breaking it isn’t easy, but it is possible. I’ve started to approach it like any other journey—one step at a time. Here’s what’s working for me:
- Identify Your Values: What matters most to you? For me, financial independence and peace of mind are at the top of my list. Knowing this makes it easier to set boundaries that align with those values.
- Practice Saying No: It’s uncomfortable at first, but it’s a muscle that grows stronger with use. Remember, every “no” to something misaligned is a “yes” to yourself.
- Create a Self-Devotion Ritual: Whether it’s journaling, meditating, or simply reflecting on the promises you’ve kept, take time to celebrate your progress.
- Hold Yourself Accountable: Share your goals with a trusted friend or mentor who can help you stay on track.
Journaling Prompts for Self-Reflection
- What is one promise I’ve broken to myself recently? How did it make me feel?
- What values are most important to me, and how can I honour them in my daily life?
- What boundaries do I need to set to protect my goals and dreams?
- How can I show devotion to myself this week?
Closing Thoughts
Devotion to ourselves is a lifelong journey. It’s not about perfection but about progress—about choosing, day by day, to honour the promises we make to ourselves and to show up as the person we aspire to be. The road might be challenging, but every step we take brings us closer to a life of alignment and fulfilment.
So today, I invite you to join me on this journey. Reflect on the promises you’ve made to yourself and take one small step toward keeping them. Because the relationship you have with yourself is the foundation for every other relationship in your life. Let’s make it one of trust, love, and unwavering devotion.
With all my love,
Salima
You can read the poem “Demain dès l’aube” or “Tomorrow, at dawn” by clicking on the following link – https://www.poetica.fr/poeme-63/victor-hugo-demain-des-l-aube/. (PS: it is originally in French but there is an English translation option).
