Have you ever found yourself in an ongoing struggle with someone—a colleague, a partner, a sibling—where every interaction feels like a tug-of-war? You don’t get along, and yet, you’re both locked in this silent, invisible battle, each trying to prove a point, each trying to make the other bend.
I call this the cord game.
I realized I was playing it when I was struggling with a colleague. His mere presence triggered something in me. The way he spoke, the way he carried himself—it all became a constant irritation. I resisted him, and he resisted me. And without realizing it, we were both gripping opposite ends of an invisible cord, pulling hard, trying to drag the other person toward our own way of seeing things. Trying to win.
The problem with the cord game is that it creates constant tension. The harder you pull, the more resistance you create. The more you fight against someone, the more they fight against you. It becomes a cycle, fueled by frustration, resentment, and the need to be right.
But here’s the truth: You don’t have to play.
The moment I became aware of the cord analogy, I saw what I needed to do—I had to let go of my end of the cord. Not because I was giving up, not because I was admitting defeat, but because I realized I had the power to stop engaging in the struggle. He was entitled to be who he was, and I was entitled to be who I was. And the only person suffering in this game was me.
So, I made a decision. I stopped resisting. I started taking deep breaths before interacting with him. I journaled about my emotions instead of holding onto them. I forgave him for being who he was, and more importantly, I forgave myself for letting his existence disturb my peace.
And you know what happened?
The tension disappeared. The invisible cord dropped. And suddenly, I was free.
When you stop pulling, the game ends. When you stop engaging in the mental battle, the struggle dissolves. The person may not change, but your relationship with the situation does. And that shift in you is what creates peace.
So, ask yourself: Where in your life are you playing the cord game? Who are you pulling against? What would happen if you simply let go?
Maybe it’s time to find out.
With all my heart,
Salima
