Lately, I have been hearing and reading a lot about women getting a divorce and waking up to a financial reality that was unexpected and shocking. I want to share one of those stories and what we can learn from it.
For years, Ana (let’s call her that) believed her marriage was stable, despite the growing cracks in her husband’s behavior. His drinking worsened, and no matter how much she pleaded, he refused help. Eventually, for the sake of her children and her own peace of mind, she made the difficult decision to ask him to leave and filed for divorce.
But just when she thought she could start fresh, reality hit her like a tidal wave. She opened the mortgage statements—something she had never paid attention to before—only to discover he hadn’t paid the mortgage for months. The bank was demanding $26,000 in missed payments, and she had no idea.
The house she had built memories in, the safe haven for her children, was now at risk of being taken away. She wasn’t just dealing with heartbreak—she was now facing financial devastation.
She had trusted that he was handling the money. She had assumed that because they had a home, things were being taken care of. Now, she was on the brink of losing everything. But through this painful experience, she also learned an important lesson—one that every woman should take to heart.
Money Lessons for Women: Protect Yourself, No Matter What
1️⃣ Know Your Numbers – Always.
Even if one partner manages the finances, both should have full visibility. Not knowing isn’t protection—it’s a risk. Be aware of how much is coming in, going out, and what debts exist.
2️⃣ Financial Red Flags Are Relationship Red Flags.
His alcoholism was a visible issue, but his financial irresponsibility was hidden. Money problems often signal deeper concerns. Secrecy, avoidance, and carelessness with money should never be ignored.
3️⃣ Shared Assets = Shared Responsibility.
If your name is on the house, the loan, or any financial commitment, you are legally responsible. Not knowing what’s happening with your money doesn’t protect you—it puts you in danger.
4️⃣ Financial Independence = Freedom & Security.
Had she been financially independent, she would have had more options. This is why women must prioritize their own financial safety nets—savings, investments, and financial literacy.
5️⃣ Love is not a financial plan.
You can love deeply, but you must stay financially aware. Trust should never mean blind trust. Your future, your children’s security, and your peace of mind depend on it.
🚨 Key Takeaway: Never assume someone else is handling things—stay informed, stay empowered, and stay in control.
PS: I recognize that women’s financial realities vary across the world, and not everyone has the same options. This post is simply meant to offer perspective and encourage awareness. 💜
With all my heart,
Salima
