Don’t let anyone clip your wings and don’t be the person clipping your wings.
Last night, as I was reflecting on the fact that April is just around the corner, a realization hit me hard: I was still stuck in the thinking stage with my goals. I wasn’t taking effective action, and that feeling of spinning my wheels without making progress became unbearable.
And then, something beautiful happened out of nowhere, I heard this sentence in my mind:
“No more holding back.”
It was a moment of clarity, and suddenly I saw what had been keeping me stuck. I was still living in what I call the zone of resistance.
What is the Zone of Resistance?
The zone of resistance is that uncomfortable space where we hold ourselves back. Not anyone else. Not outside circumstances. It’s us putting on the shackles and staying stuck.
The tricky part? It feels uncomfortable, but it’s a familiar uncomfortable. And so, we linger there, dreaming about what we want but never quite moving toward it.
When I think about the zone of resistance, I picture someone on their way from the Gold Coast to Brisbane. They stop for a quick toilet break at a rest area… and never get back on the road. They stay parked there, thinking about Brisbane, imagining what it’ll be like when they arrive—but never actually taking the steps to get there.
My Zones of Resistance
Let me be honest with you. To help you recognize your own zones of resistance, I’m going to share some of mine. Maybe they’ll sound familiar.
1. The Unfinished Project Loop
I’ll start a project with fire under my feet, going full steam ahead for three or four days. I’ll complete 70–80% of it… and then stop. I get distracted, start a new project, and leave the first one unfinished.
The result? Both projects weigh me down, and I lose momentum.
2. Fear of Freelancers
I’ve had a few not-so-great experiences working with online freelancers. So now, when I need help—like finalizing my website—I play those bad memories on repeat in my mind and freeze up. I know my preferred way of working (hiring someone locally who I can communicate with face-to-face), but instead of taking action, I get stuck in my resistance loop.
3. Waiting for a Partner to Share the Risk
When I have a big idea, my instinct is to approach friends or family and see if they want to do it with me. But often, our energies don’t match, or they’re not as interested as I am—and I give up on the idea altogether. Deep down, it’s fear talking: if I try alone and fail, the loss feels heavier.
4. Impostor Syndrome: “Who Do You Think You Are?”
I’ve spent hours and hours training to be a coach. I’ve coached women one-on-one. I’ve done the work. But that little voice still pops up sometimes: Who do you think you are? There are already so many successful coaches. What makes you special?
In her book Chill & Prosper, Denise Duffield Thomas says, “You don’t have to be a guru. Just be a contributor.” That hit home for me. I don’t have to know more than everyone else—I just have to share what I know and trust that it will help someone.
The truth is, not everyone loves tea. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea—and that’s okay.
5. Procrastination Nation
I often promise myself, “I’ll do 20% tomorrow,” instead of doing just 1% today. My mind bubbles with ideas, but without action, they never materialize.
6. Perfectionism Paralysis
When I create digital products, I’ll spend endless hours tweaking and reworking every sentence. I want it to be perfect—but the longer I tinker, the more frustrated I get. Eventually, I end up disliking the whole thing and abandoning it.
Common Zones of Resistance
In my coaching practice, I’ve noticed that these zones of resistance show up for many women. Here are a few of the most common ones:
- “I’ll start when the time is right.”
Sometimes, we delay action by setting future milestones: I’ll start when my baby goes to kindergarten. Then it becomes: I’ll start when they’re in primary school. Before we know it, years have slipped by, and we’re still waiting for “the right time.” - Doomscrolling
Few things waste time and energy like endless scrolling. Social media can be a black hole that pulls us away from our goals. - Binge-Watching TV
Ever noticed how TV episodes end on a hook? That’s not an accident—it’s designed to keep you watching. The question is, who’s the fish? - Needing a Partner to Start
While it’s great to collaborate on some projects, there are also things that we’re meant to do alone. You don’t need someone else to validate your dreams.
Breaking Free
The first step to breaking out of the zone of resistance is simple: awareness. Recognize where you’re holding yourself back.
Then, ask yourself: What small action can I take today? You don’t need to move mountains overnight. But you do need to take that first step—and then the next.
Most importantly, remember this:
No more holding back.
It’s time to get back on the road. Your dreams are waiting.
With all my love,
Salima
