There is no trap so deadly as the trap you set for yourself.
No One Likes a Tight Knot, So, Stop Strangling Yourself with Resistance
Have you ever tried to untie a knot? If you pull on it without finding the right place to loosen it, it only tightens further. Yet, when it comes to our struggles in life, we rarely stop to find the knot—we just keep pulling, tightening it around our own necks, blaming the discomfort on something or someone else.
The Boss You Can’t Stand
Imagine you have a boss who takes credit for your ideas, micromanages your every move, and makes your workdays unbearable. Every time they speak, you feel anger bubbling inside you. You resent their presence, and the moment they give you a task, you need to run to the bathroom to scream into your hands.
What’s happening here? You’ve placed a knot around your neck. And instead of untying it, you kick, scream, and fight—tightening it even more.
But what if you stopped to examine the knot? What if the real problem isn’t just your boss, but your need for validation, recognition, or control? Maybe the knot isn’t just about them—it’s about your expectation that they should behave differently. What if untying the knot meant shifting your focus from them to what you can change?
The Relationship You Want to Fix
You’re in a relationship and desperately wishing that your partner was more romantic. You see other people getting surprised trips, handwritten love notes, and grand birthday gestures, and you start feeling resentful. You compare, you complain, and the more you push for romance, the more they pull away.
Here’s the knot again.
You believe your happiness depends on them changing. But what if the real work isn’t in fixing them, but in untying your expectation? Maybe your partner expresses love differently, or maybe you need to give yourself the romance you crave.
The knot isn’t their lack of effort—it’s your belief that love should look a certain way. Once you see that, you stop tightening the rope around your own happiness.
How to Untie the Knot
Instead of fighting, take a breath and ask yourself:
- Where is the knot actually tied? What belief, expectation, or fear is keeping you stuck?
- What am I resisting? Is it reality itself, or the fact that things aren’t going the way I imagined?
- What if I let go instead of pulling harder? How would it feel to stop demanding change from others and start shifting within?
The more we fight what is, the more we suffer. But when we step back and loosen our grip, we realize something beautiful: The power to untie the knot was in our hands all along.
So, where’s your knot? And are you ready to finally loosen it?
With all my heart,
Salima
