This morning, as I opened my eyes, I suddenly remembered that it was already the 29th of March. The first thought that popped into my head was about my tenant—the same one who had promised in February to vacate my studio by the 31st of March. She had asked for one last extension, and while I had agreed, I realized I hadn’t heard from her since then.
As soon as I thought of her, my mind started playing a familiar, unpleasant reel. I saw myself calling her in anger, heard her making up one of her usual excuses, and imagined her asking for more time. My body immediately tensed up, and I felt a headache creeping in.
But then, I became aware of what was happening. I caught myself.
I literally said, “Stop!” out loud to my brain (yes, I talk to myself), and I asked myself a different question:
How do I want this situation to end?
The answer was clear. I want my tenant to be ready to leave peacefully by the end of the month. I want to get an amazing new tenant who takes care of the unit, pays their rent and utility bills on time, and with whom I’ll never have to deal during the entire duration of the rental agreement.
The moment I shifted my focus; new images flooded my brain. I saw things going smoothly. I imagined handing over the keys to someone responsible, and just like that, my body relaxed.
Our Brains Think in Pictures
I noticed something doing this work, when we think about people, places, or things that trigger unpleasant memories, our brains automatically dig up in memory boxes all the bad experiences related to those people and things and play them on repeat. It’s like pressing “rewind” on a terrible movie you never wanted to watch in the first place.
The problem is, this keeps us stuck in the same energy, the same frequency as those negative experiences. And that’s why we need to take charge of our mind trajectory by asking different questions.
How I Change the Stories in My Head
This is a technique I have been using for more than 3 years now, but as everything it requires consistency and sometimes, I am lazy to use it and pay the price, but back to our example.
Back in February, when I first felt stressed about this tenant, I was stuck in a loop of anxiety. For the first 20 days of the month, I couldn’t shake the tension. Every time I thought about her, my mind went straight to all the past issues we’d had, and I felt drained just anticipating more problems.
Then, I decided to shake things off. I grabbed a large sheet of A3 paper and wrote down exactly how I wanted things to go.
I drew little boxes and wrote:
- My tenant has paid her March rent before 5th March 2025.
- She has paid her utility bills on time before 5th March 2025.
- I had a peaceful month of March with her.
And guess what? I wrote this by the end of February and before the 5th of March, she paid her March rent and settled her outstanding electricity bills for January and February. And for the rest of the month, I didn’t have to make a single call to her.
Give Your Brain a Puzzle to Solve
Our brains are problem-solving machines. When you focus on the outcome you don’t want, your brain will keep feeding you reasons to feel worried, angry, or defeated. But when you give it a puzzle—when you say, “This is the outcome I’m looking for. How do we get there?”—it will start searching for solutions instead.
That’s why I recommend writing down your desired outcomes. You can doodle them, script the story you want to happen, or journal about it. Do whatever feels natural to you. And then, keep that vision in front of you—whether it’s a note on your mirror, a journal entry you revisit every day, or a drawing on your desk.
Does It Always Work?
Most of the time, I get the outcome I desire. But even when things don’t go exactly as I imagined, something better usually happens. In the case of my current tenant, my initial writings focused on attracting an amazing new tenant. But when it became clear she wasn’t leaving, I adjusted my focus while still holding onto the desired outcome: a tenant who pays rent and utility bills on time without me having to chase them. Because I chose to focus on what I wanted, rather than what I feared, she stayed—this time, paying everything on schedule.
Whenever I use this technique, I’m better able to manage unexpected situations, stay calm, and spot new angles and solutions.
This is not about living in denial. It’s about taking control of your thoughts and giving your brain something positive to work toward.
Conclusion
So, the next time you catch yourself spiraling into worst-case scenarios, ask yourself: What’s the outcome I want? Write it down, imagine it, and let your brain work its magic.
Because if you don’t take charge of your thoughts, they’ll take charge of you—and that’s not the life you’re here to live.
I’d love to hear from you! If you decide to give this technique a try—whether it’s scripting your desired outcome, doodling your ideal scenario, or journaling about what you want—reach out and share your experience with me. What shifted for you? What unexpected outcomes did you notice? You can reach me at whisperstotheworldcs@gmail.com. Let’s keep this conversation going, because when we focus on what we truly want, magic often happens. ✨
With all my heart,
Salima
